Introducing the Next Generation of Drupal Developers
Apr 01 2013
As Acting-CEO of ImageX (self-appointed while Glenn Hilton is on vacation with his family), I am pleased to announce our latest recruiting and professional development initiative. Starting immediately, ImageX Media will begin working with interested families across North America to train children under the age of two to develop web solutions of uncompromising quality using Drupal. This program, known as the OpenBaby Initiative, is believed to be a first of its kind in the web development community and has been received enthusiastically by the IXM staff. 
“Most developers are babies anyway,” said Patrick Jones, Senior Project Manager. “At least with the OpenBaby Initiative I’ll be able to give underperforming devs a time out.” HR Coordinator Gabrielle Garon, who has a nephew and therefore totally understands about children, was initially hesitant about the program but came to understand the value. “At first I was worried about the labour implications (no pun intended), but when it became clear we weren’t going to pay the babies, all my concerns went away.” According to highly ranked Google search results, child develop experts such as mcKeNNazMomMY107 agree that younger children learn the foundations of new languages easier than adults. “We’re hoping this means one of them can figure out the Drupal 8 API,” exclaimed Technical Lead/Senior Nanny Shea McKinney. 
The initiative is expected to have significant impact on all aspects of ImageX’s business. “I don’t see why we would keep focusing on higher education,” offered Marketing Coordinator Brett Burns, “when we’ll have immediate inroads into the lucrative diaper and burp cloth verticals.” Participants in the OpenBaby Initiative are expected to reach Senior Developer level by age 5, at which point they will unfortunately need to be laid off so they can attend kindergarten. Negotiations are underway with Acquia for all OBI severance packages to include a co-branded Dries Buytaert teddy bear. Photos used under Creative Commons license from Paul Inkles and Summer respectively.
“Most developers are babies anyway,” said Patrick Jones, Senior Project Manager. “At least with the OpenBaby Initiative I’ll be able to give underperforming devs a time out.” HR Coordinator Gabrielle Garon, who has a nephew and therefore totally understands about children, was initially hesitant about the program but came to understand the value. “At first I was worried about the labour implications (no pun intended), but when it became clear we weren’t going to pay the babies, all my concerns went away.” According to highly ranked Google search results, child develop experts such as mcKeNNazMomMY107 agree that younger children learn the foundations of new languages easier than adults. “We’re hoping this means one of them can figure out the Drupal 8 API,” exclaimed Technical Lead/Senior Nanny Shea McKinney. The initiative is expected to have significant impact on all aspects of ImageX’s business. “I don’t see why we would keep focusing on higher education,” offered Marketing Coordinator Brett Burns, “when we’ll have immediate inroads into the lucrative diaper and burp cloth verticals.” Participants in the OpenBaby Initiative are expected to reach Senior Developer level by age 5, at which point they will unfortunately need to be laid off so they can attend kindergarten. Negotiations are underway with Acquia for all OBI severance packages to include a co-branded Dries Buytaert teddy bear. Photos used under Creative Commons license from Paul Inkles and Summer respectively.Learn from us
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